Let me cling to You...

One of the hardest things to let go is relationships. Whether it be your best friend, your boy friend, your sibling, or even your dad. It's nearly impossible to just let it go on your own will. Sure, you can build a wall up against that person and keep your grudges tucked deep inside... but what does it take to let go of your hurt feelings and most importantly, your expectations. What happens when you hold someone up to a certain standard, SURE that they can fulfill it, and then they can't? You'll find most of the time that they usually won't ever fill that expectation. I hold on to it. I am hopeful that things will change. But they don't and my heart is broken every time. How to you pull together a friendship that has so painfully drifted apart? Do you watch it go or do you fight for it? What are the circumstances? At what point is enough enough? And how do you let go of the fact that for each grudge you hold against a person... they may be holding one right back at you. Right now my prayer is for God's encouragement in letting me believe in him and no one else. I feel alone and young, clueless really. But I am supposed to cling to God. I am supposed to know that he is near, especially when I hurt. So as the tears flow today and my heart cries out, I pray that God would be opening a wound so that he can fill it with the right medicine. We live in a fallen world and truly we need constant reminders. Selfishness is our biggest vice... how great it would be to live a life of selflessness, a life where you were the one asking the questions and getting to know one person after another. How great it would be to pour into someone by listening and loving instead of talking and intimidating. Sometimes letting go is in regards of distance. How do you let your other half reside miles and miles away? It's not that either has hurt the other, it's that for some time things have to be a bit makeshift. But how do I do that without hurting? Maybe God's plan is that I would hurt... that I would cry out... and that he would be the hero that saves me.