Fall

This season goes by the name Fall. It is supposed to mean yellow crunchy leaves, wind, and dark hues of red and light shades of brown. But to me, the past few months have been a different kind of season. My season has been characterized by wind of a different sort... the kind that moves me and changes me and makes me think. The leaves, falling from trees, have meant a different kind of fall. The fall that causes me to think about the brokenness of this world on a daily basis. The deep hues of red and light shades of brown have meant despair and confusion in a world marked by death and tragedy. This season has been marked with growing pains and a jumble of ideas that don't quite know how to complete themselves. But as the season Fall is beautiful, as is my own personal season. There are days that I feel like a crunched up and broken leaf, days that the wind blows so hard that I can't find my thoughts in the midst of it and hours that I can't help but think about the sadness that surrounds us... but God's voice is louder than any of that. Even his whisper can seep through the loudest howl.

Summer Staff

Wow. What an incredible experience! I recently got to spend 3 weeks in Buena Vista, Colorado, tucked away in a mountain. Pristine everything. Frontier Ranch knows how to reflect God in every little thing. As was said to us, everything speaks. I went into the experience expecting to make friends that would last a lifetime, and that I did. But what I didn't expect was to be pulled in by God's arms into a tight embrace only to hear the words, "Live life with me fully." You know, I was before this whole experience... but boy did I learn the power of prayer and the joy that comes from diving into the word. I really never knew... in high school my young life leader always told us to read the bible, read the bible, get in the word, its all there, just read the stinkin bible. I just wanted to read books ABOUT the bible. One afternoon at Frontier I just sat down, underlined some things that stood out to be in the bible, and just prayed about them. I don't know that i'd ever felt so filled up by the holy spirit than at that moment. God really just tapped on my shoulder and asked me to get closer. Being at home is scary because it's not so obvious that I need to be in the word more. Life seems to be going well. I have new clothes, new stuff for my new room, my brother is coming into town, I am going on a very big vacation next week- I feel fairly independent. Exactly what I feared and what I just don't think God wants. I left from camp wanting nothing to do with a "camp high", I just wanted to come back closer to the Lord. I have a hard time being home and carving out me and God time. There's so much going on inside... and the humidity is stifling outside, I just make excuses. I think that's all I have for now... no new revelations since I've been home, just trying to love well... and to be so close to God that I have no choice but to love well.

That is all.

Be Not Afraid

Hello little blog. I've thought of you often, I just haven't known where to pick back up. So here I am, making my way back to it. Partly because this is one of the first times in a really long time that I've had straight me time. There is NOTHING I have to do tonight besides sleep. Wonderful.
Anyway, I've been thinking. A lot. About fear. I heard a really great sermon by Bob Goff this past Sunday and the catch phrase was "Be not afraid"... three words, infinite meaning. Sure, "Be not afraid" as you take your last final, "Be not afraid" as you walk in the dark at night... but what if we all took it a few steps deeper? And even deeper than that? Would you not find some really dusty, really cool stuff in there?    These words have encouraged me to think about who exactly it is that I AM and was created to be. And I will be honest, my thoughts have both distanced me from and brought me to God. Through bitter visions of me being someone cooler, funnier, more popular if I merely conformed to the world, I have surfaced with the determination to instead love... go... do... BE. What does that look like for you? If you have no clue, then we're in the same boat. But I am realizing that the person God intended us to be is not some stressed out, worry laden human being. No, he wants JOY! Can you believe that? Joy. Imagine enthusiasm, the biggest smile you've got, people blowing bubbles everywhere and a puppy running through the middle of it. Haha! Now see where you can take THAT sort of vision and make it fit your own imagination. Perhaps one of my biggest fears has been to walk towards JOY. To experience joy would mean to let go of all that weighs me down... to let go of the responsibilities that I feel are life or death. To let go of any connection to ANYONE and just let it be... to remember that the only connection that will ultimately lead you anywhere is the one that Jesus made for us. Love with joy and remember that you are guaranteed nothing on earth, especially TIME. Make time. Be time for others. Sure, this feels a little similar to a camp high for me. I feel so, just, happy. But the take away is so much greater than that... so much more inspirational. 


Think about it. Be not afraid... where can that take you?