I wish I made more time for you, little blog. I don't get to talk to you enough. Lately I've been learning a bit about the old testament and I've been blown away by the characteristics of God that I've been able to see... such as his desire for us to know and remember the history of Himself and us. We turn away from God in a different way than those in the old testament did. Times were different, distractions were different, life was just altogether not the same. For some reason I've always allowed this to be my excuse to not push myself to learn more about the "old version of God"... What I've discovered is that although today we exist in a different world than the Israelites, we are very similar. I think if I experienced the parting of the red sea- literally walking between two walls of water- I would never doubt the Lord. But I think back to all of the miracles that the Lord has performed in my life that I can't even remember. The intimate, meaningful gifts that he has handpicked for me. There were times I swore I'd never forget the sovereignty he has because of the peace I had, or because of the way life fell into place. It seems that we can't be content for any extended period of time. At least I've found that I can't.  I go from rubbing my arms with goosebumps because I feel the Lord's presence to doubting his plan for my life within minutes. I think that if only he would do something so big as parting the red sea for me, then I would never forget. But in all honesty, I don't think I would've been any better than any of the Israelites. I've even noticed in my worldly relationships that I simply cannot trust anyone. I cannot settle for what is promised. At some point, I took the bite out of my own apple in the Garden of Eden. My sense of shame, doubt, and mistrust formed. Are we not all this way? Our God sent his only son- literally, his son- to bridge the gap. But for whatever reason, there are so many moments that I just can't understand why someone would do that for me or why I should trust it. Time and time again I fall to the conclusion that we are a broken people and that we desperately need God in every single second of every single day, but it is so hard to follow through.

Lord, place your hand over my insecurities. Rescue us from a broken world.